The Narcissist in Love

A person with Narcissistic Personality Disorder falls in “love”.

A narcissist is not capable of love, when they believe they are in love, they are not in love with the person they are admiring. They are childishly in love with a fantasy, a knight in shining armor, or some mythological god or goddess that they are projecting onto their target.

Narcissists are great actors or actresses,  Hollywood if full of them.  They can act "so in love" and they are incredibly good in bed and more often than not, promiscuous. 

The narcissist hopes this person will rescue them from their misery. The narcissist projects their “perfect version” of what their false self is craving in order to feel whole and wanted.

But sooner or later the narcissist will discover that their god or goddess is human and capable of human error. The narcissist will not be able to get over this and will be angry, resentful and vengeful from that moment on.

Then the narc will do all possible to force their victim to conform to their fantasy. 

 You Will Never Please the Narcissist

The result is a toxic relationship. There is no growth, solutions are never found and a true connection between the couple will never happen.

The relationship will be one of control, threats of divorce, calling in of police, or anything else to destroy your life to get whatever the narcissist wants.  

Narcs can threaten suicide to get somebody to marry them and I know of several cases of the victim capitulating to this blackmail. 

You don't know what will happen from one day to the next. A victim of narcissistic abuse told me that upon awakening every morning his first thought was “ What will I do wrong today?”  You never know what “bad” the narcissist will find in some innocent statement.

You probably don't know why you are getting the silent treatment again and you know it will do no good to ask. There never will be a solution, never. Reason is a foreign language.

The narcissist will only focus on the bad with a magnifying lens and totally ignore the good. And the bad will be punished maliciously, back stabbing you to friends and even your own children.

They will do silent treatments that can last for months. To us it seems the narcissist lies and gaslights without remorse. But the truth is they are delusional and actually believe what they are saying.

This is why they are so very convincing. They fool everybody into thinking they are saints and that you are bad, rotten and evil. Yet everybody that I have worked with involved with a narcissist describes them as demons incarnate.

If you are in a relationship with a narcissist, get out now and don't look back. It will never get better.

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